Driving Home Through the Ghetto

Jamie and I are sitting here debating whether to go to McDonalds. On the one hand, neither one of us is really hungry (and I can't really eat anything at Mickey D's anyway), but on the other hand we're sitting here watching something like the Bachelor except with fat (actually, none of them for fat. It seems to just be women with weight issues who think they're fat, but are actually mostly average sized) people. Like half an hour ago Jamie threw open the curtains and IT WAS STILL LIGHT OUT. I really, honestly felt like it should have gotten dark like three hours ago. But nope. The sun hadn't gone down. I don't know what's wrong with us.

Time seems to run very slowly here. I had this feeling an hour ago that I was running late getting ready for bed, except then I looked at the clock and it was 7:30. I think we're just exhausted.

Um, so today. We adventured in to St. Louis and we met some elves. And they brought us in to their magical elf home. It was in a tree. There was a dragon. And then we met Beowulf. We knew he was Beowulf because he couldn't stop shouting, "I AM...beowulf." The dragon had an Australian accent. They were apparently "mates". So I don't know what that old book was talking about. And then the dragon led us in to the sewers below St. Louis and told us of the dragon-Viking wars going on down there. The Vikings were sabotaging all of the fire hydrants, so the water all over the city was messed up. On our drive home we had to go through the ghetto because the good parts of town had too much traffic. The dragons were trying their hardest to stop the Vikings, but it was too late for us. We had to go through the ghetto. But, wait, back up to the part where we were in the sewers. So we're standing there and all of a sudden the sewer flooded with otters. We climbed on their backs and they brought us back to the hotel. Unfortunately we had to come in through the toilets. And after that harrowing journey (and believe, it was harrowing) we realized that our car (which we need, this being a road trip and all) was still in the city! So the otters took us back down through the toilets (I'd explain the mechanism behind this, but trust me you don't want to know) and while we were journeying back to University City (where the car was parked and they were having water problems) the St. Louis Otters explained to us that they were allies of the dragons and they used their magic water powers to fight the Vikings. They apparently are big fans of the TV show Avatar, and explained to us that they were basically like water benders but with fur. The dragons, obviously, are fire benders. The Vikings are like earth benders only evil. And with helmets. They even have a crazy cabbage man. So it turns out Avatar is real. Only instead of taking place in the whole world it takes place in the sewers of St. Louis. Tomorrow we get to find out if there are any airbenders left. Maybe we will meet Aang! Sorry there are no pictures; it's dark in sewers.