My Car, A Tent, Pubic Lice (Where We Are Sleeping)

Jamie and I were figuring on maybe spending a night or so sleeping in my car. My initial thoughts about this are as follows:

Maybe some sort of make-shift car curtains or something? Like, cloth to put up around the windows in case we need to sleep in the car at some point. Because the tint on my windows isn't that strong and the thought of someone standing outside the car watching me sleep makes me cry a little. Okay, a lot.

It turns out that Walmart allows people in RVs to park and sleep in their parking lots overnight. Now, I mean, my Jeep isn't exactly an RV, but it's a pretty large car. So, it's an option. A cheap, cheap option.

But even cheap, cheap options can be found lacking by my eighteen year old self. Because I'm seriously like a crotchety old woman sometimes. All I can think about when faced with the idea of sleeping in my car is the backache and the headache I will wake up with the next morning. If it were just me and Jamie, you know, ok. But it's me and Jamie and all of the crap we'll need over a week and a half. All of that stuff taking up room in my trunk. Which means there will be maybe room for one kind of squished in with it. But there are, uh, two of us. Which means that there will be two of squashed in uncomfortably, or one of us probably still uncomfortable and one of us in the front seat, leaned all the way back (I'm figuring on folding the back seat down). Both of those options kinda suck. Both of those options, when faced with being stuck in a car for many hours that day afterward, suck even worse.

We're probably overnighting one drive, from St. Louis to Memphis. It's a little over four hours, so if we leave St. Louis around like eleven or midnight, we should arrive around five or six hours later. Depending on how many times we have to pull over to buy more coffee/energy drinks/caffeine pills/meth. And then how many times we have to pull over to puke* because we over did the coffee/energy drinks/caffeine pills/meth. And how many times we have to debate stopping at a hospital because, holy fuck, I cannot stop shaking and I think I might be having a heart attack and my hands seriously should not be shaking this much.

Anyway, I need to get a job so we can afford to sleep in motels or something. And not the kind that charge by the hour. Public lice doesn't sound like a fun time. My parents did buy me a tent for Christmas, so we should be able to stop in national parks or campgrounds or something and sleep and have a nice shower. And apparently national parks are just full up with friendly Germans and I forget how to say "shower" in German, but "wash" is basically the same thing. And so if you wanted to say something about washing yourself/showering, you'd say "Ich dusche mir." "Dusche" being pronounced like the English douche, but with an "uh" sound at the end. And god knows I take any and every opportunity to say douche.

*One time when I was fourteen, I drank six Mountain Dews in half an hour and proceeded to throw up. But now I am an old woman, so I doubt I could down that many in the first place.