It's a Secret

So, I want to talk a little about my cousin Bernadette. One of the first things she does upon introducing herself is tell you, in no uncertain terms, to never call her Bernadette. She goes by Bennie in nearly all situations. But I call her Bernadette frequently because, uh, what is family for but to annoy the shit out of you? I haven't seen her in person since I was like 16, and I haven't actually been to her house since I was (I think) 10. She and my aunt and uncle live in Newport News, Virginia and my parents are lazy. And, you know, my mom can't handle car rides that long, and flying is pretty expensive and it's hard to lay down travel plans and...and...and...

Anyway, we had a family reunion in Cape May when I was 13 (summer after 7th grade), and for a few summers after that my grandparents would take her from my aunt and uncle's and they'd drive up to Cape May (actually, you have to take a ferry part of the way, but whatever) and we'd all hang out and have zany adventures. But then the summer before 11th grade I went to nerd camp so they didn't, and then for whatever reason they didn't last summer either. It wasn't shaping up to happen this summer (pre-college for both of us), but then we were like, "Wait, we have cars." So I'm pretty positive she's coming up to visit sometime in late July/early August for a week or two. She might be bringing one of her friends up with her, 'cause the more people the more madcap adventures possible. So I think I'm going to invite Jamie to come down with me, because we're practically the same person anyway. And Bennie and I always have fun together, so I'm assuming Jamie will enjoy her company as well. So we'll all hang out at my trailer and go the beach and boardwalk and some restaurants and most definitely we are finding a Sonic to go to (why do they show delicious food commercials even though the nearest one is HOURS AWAY FROM MY HOUSE?!). Probably make a stop by the waterpark, and my dad is bugging me to take pictures of Cape May so we'll probably rent some bikes and ride around. There legitimately are a lot of cool buildings around. Also I always see flyers and stuff around for ghost walks/haunted house tours, but no one will do one with me. So I'll probably try to see if I can beg them into going on one of those, too.

Or, uh, that's what we're telling Jamie's parents anyway. It's seriously like half based in real life (I have a cousin Ben/Benny who lives in Virginia and my not seeing him is entirely accurate except for the part in which I will see him this summer. And the part in which he is female.). We're craftily working it in to conversations one bit at a time (or I hope it's crafty, anyway), so it won't just come up all of a sudden and they will believe it. I'm hoping Bernadette is far enough out there to be like, "Who would make that up?" But not far enough out there to be like, "That has to be made up." Her dad is really Catholic - she's named after the saint. It caused a minor scandal in the family when they got married because my grandparents used to be really, hugely evangelical (Jesus bumber stickers, the works.). Now they are merely evangelicals, and rather more open and accepting than they used to be. So it's all cool. I'm not entirely sure when her birthday is (I can't remember when my dad's is half the time either. I have it written down though), except that it's sometime in September very near my grandmother's birthday. I was born on my grandfather's birthday, so it's just a cool little thing that we joke about.

Er. So. Those are all my anecdotes about my fake cousin. If we remember/get the balls up we might ask some random girl at the beach to take a picture with us, so we have at least one picture of her during the whole trip.